


Losing a piece of you

by Aaaalexxx_Dddanversss



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: And she thinks she's broken beyond repair, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Effects of childhood trauma, F/F, It's up to Kara to show her she's not, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena doesn't think that any of it was real, Somebody should give Lena some cuddles and probably therapy, mention of childhood, post-reveal, supergirl reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-09 03:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20481410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aaaalexxx_Dddanversss/pseuds/Aaaalexxx_Dddanversss
Summary: Lena is in love with Kara, but how can she be, when Kara used to be her best friend and now is the betrayal that hurt the most?The one betrayal that she might not be able to live with. The one that broke her.Still, Lena doesn't know what it means or what to do or how to think, but she knows, that with every fiber of her being, she is inevitably and irrevocably in love with Kara Danvers and she thinks it may kill her.





	Losing a piece of you

**Author's Note:**

> So this is basically the aftermath to the Supergirl Reveal the way I'd like it to go down.
> 
> BTW English isn't my mother tongue, so please be lenient about possible grammatical errors
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Lena is in love with Kara. She is. After everything that happened the past years, the Daxamite invasion, the worldkillers, her failed relationship with James and now, finally, her brother, she feels like her whole world is twisted upside down. But she knows one thing for certain. She's in love with her. And now what? Kara is Supergirl and she never told her. Kara is Supergirl and she went behind her back. Kara is Supergirl and she didn't trust her.

Lena is in love with Kara, but how can she be, when Kara used to be her best friend and now is the betrayal that hurt the most? The one betrayal that she might not be able to live with. The one that broke her. Still, Lena doesn't know what it means or what to do or how to think, but she knows, that with every fiber of her being, she is inevitably and irrevocably in love with Kara Danvers and she thinks it may kill her.

Those are the thoughts she only allows herself once she gets home from game night and curls up in an empty bed. When she is alone for good. In those moments she misses James. Not because she is in love with him, no. The things she felt for him could hardly be considered love. But she misses the intimacy, she misses coming home to a warm body she can hold onto, when everything else is falling apart.

James however, isn't here. He is at his own apartment, sleeping peacefully, while Lena, finally, feels the tears starting to fall. Silently at first, but soon enough her pillow is soaked and Lena lets a guttural cry escape her trembling lips, not even having the energy to care whether her neighbors might hear. After all, what's the worst thing that could happen when she already feels like she's trapped in a nightmare she's unable to wake up from?

The embarrassment or anger or whatever else a reasonable person is supposed to feel in this situation is overshadowed by the overwhelming grief of what feels like existential loss. Or maybe she doesn't feel it at all. Maybe she went numb somewhere between releasing the trigger on her own brother and those pictures that Lena doesn't even want to remember flashing in the background and she just doesn't know it yet.

Kara. Her best friend. The first person in all of her life who trusted her. Who didn't dismiss her for the Luthor name, but who saw her as just Lena. Kara, who came stumbling into Lena's life, seemingly by accident, slowly but surely leading the entirety of her being into another direction. Kara, who just showed up one day, with that smile and so much life radiating from her. 

Lena remembers all of it, of course she does. Kara pushed her out of her comfort zone, out of the recurring pattern of denial and self doubt, without ever making her feel uncomfortable. In the years she's known Kara, she has grown like never before. She has finally learned what it meant to love and to be loved and with every step along the way, Lena slowly but steadily started falling in love with herself. 

But now Kara is Supergirl and none of it is real. Supergirl has shown Lena quite clearly, that when it comes down to it, she doesn't trust her. When Sam came to her, all she ever wanted to do was help and Kara of all people must have known that. It was okay that Supergirl didn't see who she really was, because Kara did. But if Kara, honest und just and upright Kara, after years of getting to know Lena, came to the conclusion that she was simply not a good person, there had to be truth to it.

The irony of the revelation is only beginning to hit Lena and she doesn't even fight back when her lips form a dry smile. It was supposed to end today, she was supposed to let go of all the things dragging her down, while making sure that Lex never again got the opportunity to hurt anyone. And at the end of the day, she had planned to melt into Kara's arms and open up to her, come clean and confess her love. She hadn't thought past that, whether or not Kara would have returned her feelings. The important thing was the truth itself, finally spoken out loud, tearing down the last barrier of dishonesty between the two.

Now though, Lena can't help but wonder. Would Kara just have gone along with it, as some twisted game? Or would she have shot her down, grateful for the opportunity to distance herself from the Luthor? But, come to think of it, that's not even the most ironic part. No, it was how Lena was ready to drop all of her walls for Kara, and now instead, she knows she is shutting down.

It's not an active decision. That behavior is programmed into her since early childhood. Not letting anybody in. Not letting herself feel the things she needs to feel. Because maybe, she's just not worth it, and the world is better off without her, so the least she can do is pretending she's not even in it. 

If she had mentioned these doubts to Kara, Lena was positive that she would reassure her, that no, she shouldn't think like that, she had friends who saw the good in her. But in secret, would Kara have agreed?

Lena knows she can't afford to think like that. Can't afford to let herself feel the whole extent of her emotions, to accept the consequences of Kara's betrayal. And so she keeps it locked away, wipes the last tears from her face and forces her body to stand back up again.

This she knows how to do. It's easy. She just lets the cold and focused part of her take over and makes sure she stays busy enough. In the bathroom she reapplies her makeup, smudged by the tears and changes from her comfortable shirt into an elegant dress before she calls herself a cab to go to work.

It's the middle of the night and it's cold outside. But Lena doesn't care. Not about the thin fabric, that's only poorly shielding her from the temperature, not about the passerbies shooting her strange looks and definitely not about Kara. No, she doesn't care about her. Kara isn't the reason Lena chooses to go to L-Corp over CatCo, she isn't the reason that Lena still feels the tingles of dried up tears on her cheek and she's not the reason for the hollowness, spreading from Lena's chest.

Because Lena isn't meant for those things. She doesn't need friends or people she can trust. She needs nobody, and deep down she thinks that's all she deserves. An existence that revolves around work. That's the way it has been ever since and frankly, Lena doesn't consider it to be bad. She gets up in the morning, puts on makeup and fancy clothes to hide the person she is inside, she goes to work, she runs a company, she drinks the occasional coffee her secretary brings and she accomplishes great things. Advances in science that nobody would have thought possible. What more does she need?

Not Kara. Not as a friend, not as a relationship, even less as a savior. She doesn't need Alex or James or any of those other people. They all knew. And they all lied to her. But Lena doesn't care. She walks into her office and she doesn't check her phone to see if Kara texted her. And when Kara does text, asking if she got home okay, Lena doesn't see it. Pretends not to, at least.

When dawn starts creeping in Lena is tired. Physically, not emotionally and she decides it's a good thing. If she's pushing her body to its limits, there's no room left for hurt or confusion or anger in her mind. Lena doesn't even bother to go home, instead she passes out right there at the couch. The same one that she and Kara had been sitting on so many times, the one where Lena first realized she was falling for Kara. But she doesn't think about that. Of course not. She doesn't care about Kara and she doesn't think about her.

Lena wakes up and she has three missed calls from Kara and one from James. She ignores both, doesn't even send a short text back. What for? It's not like they actually care about her. And now that Lex is gone for good, they won't need her and Lena is fine with that.

It's a Sunday afternoon and none of her employees including her assistant are there, so Lena quickly runs to the bakery across the street and grabs a bite to eat, before she makes her way back to her office. Upon her return she finds new messages from Kara. It could be about work, Lena tells herself, she's only checking because it could be work. It's not like she actually cares what Kara has to say.

"Are you free today?" The first message reads. "I really need to talk to you" The second and the last one: "There's something you deserve to know"

Yeah, sure. There was something that Lena deserved to know. And now, thanks to her brother she does. She knows, who her best friend really is. And that is a lying, cold-hearted bitch with a God complex. So no, whatever Kara wants this time, it's not Lena's problem. She already knows all she has to know.

The next weeks are monotonous to say at best, Lena has her routine and she sticks to it. Get up, get dressed, go to work, work late, crash on the couch. She avoids CatCo, shoots James a quick text to take over for her and ignores his question whether or not she is alright. Just as she ignores the calls and messages from Kara that grow more and more worried. Not that Kara actually cares about her, that much Lena has understood, so what even is the point?

She should have kept everything that way. Not thinking and not caring. Life was a lot easier like that. But then Alex texts her and pushes Lena over the edge. "What's going on with you?" And Lena can't believe that she has the audacity to ask this. 

Alex of all people should be able to understand her position. Her dad betrayed her trust. Kara told her all about it. How he had pretended to be somebody he was not and lied by omission. How he had claimed to only do it for the sake of his daughters, while he disregarded every single one of their ideals. 

In the beginning, Lena wouldn't have considered Alex responsible. But then they got closer. Alex knew how massive Lena's trust issues were. She knew what it was like to be betrayed by someone who matters to you above all else. Yet, she had kept quiet and enabled Kara's secrecy.

So maybe that's what triggers it. What causes Lena to open the bottle of wine and give in to her tears. The more she drinks, the more she feels her walls crumbling down. She knows that she cannot even begin to fathom the whole complexity of her feelings and what this betrayal will mean for her. 

But maybe, Lena wonders, it's not the worst thing to surrender. She would have thought differently just a few years ago, but when Kara came into her life, something inside her shifted irreversibly. Something inside her, that didn't agree with keeping emotions under the rug, that wanted people to trust and to love, that wanted to be happy. Kara was the reason for that. And maybe, just maybe Lena isn't quite ready to give up on that yet. Maybe she doesn't want to go back to a life that was barely worth living. 

As much as she wishes, she didn't feel that way, she still cares about Kara. And it's strange, because her feelings are so conflicting. On the one hand she hates Kara for all the pain she caused and she doesn't want to see her ever again, then though, there's this small, but persistent part of her that is so incredibly in love with Kara and doesn't want to imagine a life without her. However Lena doesn't know how to ever get past that or if Kara would even want to.

So she does the one thing she had sworn herself not to do. She blames it on Alex and the alcohol, which is ridiculous, considering she has only drunken half a glass of wine. Because something has to be at fault for Lena's shaky hands grabbing a phone and slowly typing - as if it wasn't even her - a message to Kara.

"Can you come over? I need you right now"

It's stupid, Lena doesn't need anybody, especially not Kara. And she isn't convinced that her current state is the ideal one to confront her, except she doesn't want to confront her. She just wants to be with Kara, maybe everything would be okay then. And she wants to take her text back, but it's too late. Kara is already on her way.

Torn apart. That's the most accurate way to describe Lena's innermost thoughts. She is mad. At Alex, at Kara and at herself. She is desperate to finally figure out how to cope with this. And she's relieved, when Kara knocks on her door and she's scared about all the things either of them might or might not say. And she takes a look at Kara's worried eyes and serious expression and she is so unbelievably outraged, about Kara just standing there, when it's all her fault. And then her shy smile makes Lena's stomach flutter and oh, she is so in love with this woman.

"Hey", Kara starts delicately, and when she doesn't get a response: "What's wrong, Lena?" Her voice is so soft and gentle that she almost believes her. 

Naturally, Lena pauses, pushes the conflicting feelings to the back of her brain, until her eyes fall onto Kara's crinkle and she lets the truth come through: "Honestly? Everything"

"Is it about Lex?" Of course this would be the obvious reason, her evil genius brother should be the one giving her headaches and sleepless nights, not her best friend.

So instead of screaming "It's you, Kara. It's all about you, all the time" she simply states "I don't think I can deal with that right now"

She honestly doesn't think so. Lena doesn't consider herself nearly strong enough. In a way she should be grateful, because Kara's betrayal left no space in her mind to think about her brother. Who was dead for good.

Lex had been kneeling before her, telling her how she would never have the guts to go through with it, that she would not be able to pull the trigger, because that's not the kind of person she was. And before that day, she would have wholeheartedly agreed with him. It was the look on his face, the underestimation written right across it that gave her what was necessary to turn her plan into reality.

Lena knew, that at this moment she was supposed to feel regret or guilt or maybe even relief. But there was nothing, not until Lex told her about Kara.

"Some of it is, though. He's part of the problem", Lena says and it's not technically a lie. It's just not the truth. "Please, let's just do anything else, I can't" and her desperation seems to get to Kara.

"Fine, let's talk about something else. You know that thing I said I needed to tell you? It's about..." the blonde starts and Lena has a feeling about what is coming.

And screw it. Lena is done with talking in circles, she's done with secrecy and she's done with being careful and sensitive. "Save it, Kara, I know. Your oh so secret identity? I know exactly who you are and I have no idea what to tell you, so can we just, please, not talk about it?", her voice raising gradually, screaming the last few words into Kara's face.

Lena feels her veins pulsating and the blood rushing to her face. She focuses on the physical, not being able to bear the emotional. While she concentrates on her own heavy breathing and trembling hands with all of the willpower left inside her, she barely notices the faintest hint of an "oh" falling from Kara's lips, leaving her standing in silence, mouth slightly agape.

After what feels like an eternity, Kara returns to speaking: "Fine. We're going to have to talk about it eventually, you know. But we'll do it on your terms, what do you want?"

So much about confusion. As quickly as that feeling arose, it is now replaced by anger. Lena's plan didn't include any of that in the first place, but neither did it include finding out just how much of a lie her life really is. On her terms. What does that even mean? Her terms were a best friend that was honest with her, but obviously, Kara had never played on her terms.

"What I want, Kara? I wanted a friendship based on trust, I want for you to to be the person I always thought you were and I want it to feel like I'm not fucked up. But it's too late for all of it. So don't ask me what I want if you can never give it to me"

Kara's eyes start glistening with tears, but Lena doesn't really care. She had brought that upon herself. Kara is the one who lied, she better feel bad for it. Coldly, to not let on how much she is hurting, Lena adds: "I can't deal with that right now"

"You're not fucked up" It's barely a whisper, but Kara's voice is firm and clear. "I messed up, I know that. But I don't ever want you to feel like there's anything even remotely wrong with you"

"Should've thought about that before you decided to keep a secret like this from me. How did you think I would react to finding out? Kara, our whole relationship is based on a lie, how do you expect I deal with it?"

"I don't know"

"Good, then don't ask me to talk about it"

"Okay. Fine"

Lena relaxes into her seat, finally letting go of the tension inside her chest. She has said her part and now it's Kara's turn to make a move. Except, there is something that bothers Lena. The one question she hasn't granted herself yet and a single word forces its way into the open.

"Why?"

The silence between them grows louder until it is unbearable, Kara showing no sign of answering. And that's exactly what Lena was afraid of, exactly why she had put off asking it for such a long time. It would be one thing for Kara to have a weak excuse, barely a mumble drowning in her apologies. But for Kara to have no explanation, no reason, Lena isn't sure she can survive that.

But then, finally, when Lena already thinks all hope is lost and she feels the tears forming in her eyes, Kara wakes from her dace and starts speaking.

"I wanted to protect you"

Lena is glad that she does have a reason, however misguided and she can't help the warmth spreading inside her chest. Kara only ever wanted to protect her, she never had any intention of damage. But not all of Lena is able to accept Kara's words, despite her burning wish for them to be true.

"Protect me?" Her question seems stiff, apathetic even. She doesn't need to utter her doubts out loud, Kara can read the unsaid thoughts from her face. Lena used to love that about her, but as it seems, it just made her vulnerable. She didn't always think like that. Once upon a time she was so incredibly grateful for having Kara in her life, Kara that heard her when she wasn't talking and Kara that she didn't have to bother keeping secrets from.

However, Lena wasn't the one keeping secrets. For the first time in her life she had been completely honest with another person and that very person ended up to be the one telling the most significant lies. The irony doesn't get lost on her.

"I can look after myself, you know. I might not have superpowers or a training in martial arts, but if I wasn't fully capable of handling myself, then I would no longer be here"

The countless times Supergirl had come to her rescue, all the situations she couldn't have managed on her own are forgotten, as her anger intensifies.

"I know that, of course I do. But there are bad people out there, people who won't hesitate to hurt my loved ones in order to get what they want. You knowing my real identity only would have put a target on your back"

"I'm a Luthor for God's sake, the target is already there, no matter what I do or say or know. I will never be safe and I'd prefer it if I could at least face those dangers in the conscience that I have people I can rely on"

Something in Kara's expression shifts. Only subtly, but enough for Lena to realize her words have hurt her. She isn't quite sure whether to consider that a bad thing.

"You can always rely on me, Lena", Kara protests, stressing the word 'always'  
"I might have messed up in a lot of ways, I'm not denying that. But I would never stay away when you need help. I will always show up"

But that is exactly the thing. "How am I supposed to believe that? How can I trust you if you lied to me about something that major?"

"I had no other choice"

"You always have a choice. Isn't that what you taught me?"

Great role model she is. Preaching about being your own hero and sticking to your principles while living in dishonesty and settling for the easy instead of the right solution.

"Yeah, well. Maybe I had a choice. But I chose to protect you, because I love you" Her voice stumbles over the last part, as her hands tense up and the blood rushes into her face.

And for just a moment Lena allows herself to dream. To imagine a life without all the lies and doubts and hate. Just a world, that has Kara and Lena with nothing between them. And a Kara that tells her she loves her and means it. More than anything, Lena longs for things to be easy. For her to be able to sink into Kara's arms and hold her tight without second thoughts.

Just the way people strive for immortality and infinite wealth, they desire happy endings. Humans always aim for the things they can never obtain, but Lena decides she doesn't need any of that. She doesn't need perfect and she doesn't need forever. All she wants is one moment. One moment with Kara and a world that's okay.

It would take her two steps to reach Kara, barely a couple of seconds to wrap her arms around her and bury her face in her shoulder, but there are miles and centuries separating them, whole universes to cross if they want to get to each other and Lena doesn't think she can do it.

Instead she takes one step, which is one too little and one too much and she starts reaching for Kara's hand, but leaves it hanging in the air, right next to all the words she still needs to say and all the ones she never will.

The familiarity of her best friend's glance at both their hands strikes her as a surprise. Kara didn't fail to catch a glimpse of Lena's movement that was more a slip-up and Lena has no idea whether Kara doesn't take her hand because she doesn't want to or because she's afraid.

That look brings her back to reality too quickly, like a bird hitting the ground a little too hard. Before she can think, the truth spills out of her. "It feels like I'm loosing you and I don't know if I can deal with that"

"You don't have to loose me" 

Lena knows what Kara means with that. It's an "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere if you still want me" and it makes Lena get lost in her own mind once again.

She tries. But she can't keep trying forever and Kara's words sound too good to be true. So what is she supposed to do except to stop pretending.

"I think I already have. Or maybe I never really had you to begin with"

After a moment of silence she continues "I've lost too much already, but I wouldn't expect you to understand"

Of course Kara understands. She might be the only one who is remotely in the same position as Lena, the one who comes closest to her experiences. And she has a right to express that sentiment, sure, just that maybe, she should have worded it differently.

"You think I'm not familiar with loss? I know you didn't have it easy, but it was worse for me. I lost my friends, my family, my whole planet."

Worse. Sure.

Only a split second after Kara realizes what she has said and Lena sees the regret in her face, as she tries to right her wrongs.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that. I shouldn't have said that, it was way out of line, I'm so sorry"

It's too late now. Words once said don't go back in and if you're unlucky enough they can destroy you. Nothing is so broken it can't be fixed, but things can cease to exist. Abysses can be created that are far too deep and far too wide to build bridges. Lena knows she is about to further the distance, but in a way, she doesn't care.

"So? Maybe you lost your planet, but you had a whole new one just waiting for you. You arrived and you had your cousin, you had Alex and Eliza, Jeremiah. No matter how much you screwed up, no matter how lonely you felt, you were never alone. You had a home, that's more fortunate than I was"

The Luthors might have taken her in, but even before Lex went mad, she had never felt at home there. She felt at home with Lex, but the house was too big, too cold and too empty. Especially with Lilian there, she was never quite able to feel like she belonged.

Lena doesn't know about how out of place Kara too had felt upon her arrival. Doesn't know about the panic attacks, about the feeling of being trapped and the experience of starting anew in a world you're a stranger to. One day Kara will tell her all about it and Lena will come to look back on this conversation and deeply regret the things she said. But right now, this doesn't come to her mind, the betrayal still too recent.

But Kara has a home now. She has friends and family and a place to go. Since coming to National City Lena has only ever felt at home in the presence of one person. Home is where you feel both safe and free at the same time and her best friend had always provided her with that sensation. Now though, Lena is standing in the building she owns and all she wants is to go home, but with Kara's lies, she's not sure if she can ever return there.

"That's not fair, Lena. Do you really want to fight about who had it worse?"

She sounds tired, like she has had that conversation before, countless times and still counting. And Lena decides she doesn't. So instead of "You started it", she says something more hurtful.

Maybe she's doing it to feel something, anything at all. Maybe she wants to inflict pain on Kara, to prove that she can. Or maybe she wants to find out how much further they can drift apart or if they're already beyond the point of no return.

"You know what isn't fair? That every single time I love someone, I loose them. One way or another. And then you came along"

Lena knows what she is going to say before she does, it was the one thing she was afraid would alter everything. But now she's not afraid, she's putting all her cards on the table and she's relieved. Because finally, she's all out of moves.

"You come along and you change all the things I thought I knew about myself. Turns out that life is a whole lot better if you have friends and don't close yourself off. Turns out there are people that care about me, trust me and want to be around me"

That was one of the hardest things to get used to in the beginning. Lena wasn't familiar with people going out of their way to actively seek out her company. She had had people trying to take advantage of her, sure. Her money, her skills, her name. But there was nothing of that about Kara. Her intentions weren't tainted. She simply liked Lena for Lena and that was the most difficult to believe. But she did in the end, because it was Kara, and sweet and gentle Kara could never lie to her. Or so she thought. 

"You finally made me into a person I didn't hate as much"

Kara's features soften visibly. There's hardly any anger between the two them anymore, only sadness and something that feels like hope. Like a Maybe Someday.

"No", she interrupts, "That was all you, I only showed you the amazing woman you were all along"

And that's it. The final blow. Lena has been shouting at Kara the whole conversation, she has blamed her, she has intentionally made hurtful comments and Kara is simply standing there, swallowing all of it and telling Lena how highly she thinks of her still. This version of Kara is Lena's favorite. And it's the reason she has to come clean to her.

"Anyway, you come along and you're just so... You. And I fell in love with you, of course I did, how could I not?"

If a person can turn into mush, if they can melt and reappear as the literal manifestation of love, then that's what Lena does, as she lets out the words she has been holding in for way too long. She looses herself, but for the first time in a good way, because Kara doesn't seem disgusted or weirded out. Instead her lips form a little smile, with just the right hint of surprise. But as quickly as it develops, it falls back into itself again, when Lena goes on.

"So now here we are. Because I love you more than I have ever loved someone, but you hurt me more than I thought anyone ever could. And I have no idea what to do about any of it" 

This time Kara doesn't carefully pick out her words. She doesn't think about them and that's what makes Lena believe them. Kara speaks right from the bottom of her soul without considerations or filters. And Lena has no doubts, they're the truth.

"I never meant for things to turn out like that. And if you're not willing to give me a chance to earn your forgiveness, I will respect that. If you want me to leave and never come back, just say the word. But what we have is real. It means everything to me and I'm only asking you to let me fight for it"

It's worth a try. Lena doesn't know if things will ever be the same between them, she doesn't know what it means for their friendship and she has no idea what to do about her feelings for Kara. She isn't quite ready to forgive her, but she's even less ready to give up.

"Okay", she says and before she knows it, she closes the distance between them. Kara doesn't hesitate as she pulls Lena into a tight embrace. There's nothing for Lena to do except hugging her back and holding onto her for dear life. 

Right now there is too much confusion and there are so many things to sort out, to talk about. But there's also love. So much love that Lena barely knows how to deal with, because contrary to her doubts, back when she had no idea about Supergirl's true identity, Kara loves her right back. 

It will take the blonde a week after their reconciliation that seems so fragile to say it out loud. She wants to give Lena the space she needs to gain clarity about what she wants without putting further pressure on her and Lena respects that. That doesn't mean she won't worry about her feelings not being reciprocated, but maybe having Kara as a friend is enough. Still, when Kara finally admits to her own feelings, Lena won't be able to conceal her happiness. Not that she will try. 

Another few weeks will pass, before Lena asks Kara on a date. Kara, being overly cautious not to cross any boundaries, will check in with Lena multiple times, ask her if she really wants that, reassure her that she can back out at any given time, but frankly, it will make Lena love her even more. 

None of them know about that yet, Lena's face buried in Kara's shoulder, silent sobs escaping her and Kara pulling Lena closer. 

Right now, Lena is insecure and Kara is full of regret, right now they don't know if they can make it work. But Kara will keep her promise, she will fight for Lena and eventually she will win. They both will. 

The reveal, however much it felt like an end, was more of a beginning. This realization will hit Lena in the moment she first presses her lips on Kara's in the aftermath of their date, slightly grazing them, before Kara will take initiative, maybe for the first time since that conversation, and pull her closer. 

It will take time, but someday Lena won't question Kara's motives, someday she will be able to trust her again regardless of the circumstances. Someday Kara will stop carrying that enormous amount of guilt with her wherever she goes. She will be able to look at Lena and simply see a woman she loves, not a painful reminder of her past mistakes. It's hard to believe that now, but things will be alright. Lena and Kara will be alright and they will be happy. Someday.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!
> 
> Please leave Kudos or - even better - Feedback, so I'll know what to improve in the future :)


End file.
